I wrote an article a number of months ago on saying “yes,” well now, I’m writing one on the other half of the coin – saying “no.” While I love living in a world of yes (yes to new experiences, yes to taking risks, yes to living in love), saying no can be far more beneficial.
I remember my dad would tell my mom that she must not understand the word no as she never used it. She would book herself on a ton of committees and with various activities. It would go well for awhile, but, it eventually lead to burn out and one exhausted mama! Like mother, like daughter, I found myself in that same situation more often than not. My calendar overflowed…like trying to cram 10 pounds of sh*t in a one pound bag! I didn’t realize that the only person that could help me out of this mess was me.
Previously, saying no meant that I couldn’t please everyone and that I wasn’t perfect. Much to my shock and horror, I realized I couldn’t juggle 20 balls at one time, couldn’t walk on water, nor could I turn water into wine…though there were times I would’ve given my left arm for that bit of magic!
Saying no meant I was flawed in someway. I knew saying it would disappoint someone, which seemed like a fate worse than death…truly, until recently, my mantra was, “I’d rather have you mad at me than disappointed.” Yikes! What I didn’t know then was that saying no wasn’t going to kill me or those around me. Rather, it meant I wasn’t loving myself enough nor was I honoring what I truly wanted, and that was the biggest tragedy of all.
There will be people around you, including those that love you, that will derail you from your purpose and/or current goals…even if it’s not their intent. Regardless, you need to be able to say no anyway. Yes, they may feel disappointed, but that’s on them to decide how they feel and what their reaction is going to be – it’s not your responsibility, nor is it something you can control. You can’t please everyone, nor should you try. I just read, “real friends will love your no as much as they love your yes.” I love that quote – thanks Holley Gerth!
Stay strong, stay true to your purpose, and lead your life in love!
Love yourself enough to say “no,” and doing what’s best for you will benefit those around you as well.