Last week, I did a free coaching call on trusting your path where I noted the importance of not getting down, distracted, or discouraged from other’s negativity. Easier said than done sometimes, I know. The topic got me thinking about how careless people can be with their words, gossip, and negativity. It’s as if we’re supposed to be emotionally armored 24/7, because at any moment we could get hit with someone’s bad day or insecurities.

I’ve been the target of a lot of gossip as of recently…so I’ve been told. For the record, yes, it still sucks just as bad at 35-years-old, as it did at 15! Though it has an extra level of disappointment, because I would’ve hoped we’d be more emotionally mature. Clearly for some, that’s no the case. So, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, I’m calling it out – it’s not OK.

I started this blog four years ago to help others lead a healthier lifestyle. For example, you need a diet that doesn’t consist of McDonald’s (or any other fast food for that matter), because it’s horrible for your body. The same is true for your mind; you need to feed it healthy things so it can continue to grow, get smarter and stronger, love more, and forgive easier. Putting people down and/or gossiping is McDonald’s for your mind (thank you, Jim Gaffigan, for the reference!). You may think it’s a good idea at the time or that you’re not really hurting anyone, but it adds negativity pounds to your brain…just because you can’t see an expanding waistline doesn’t mean it’s not happening!

I implore you to beware of the garbage that flies out of your mouth, and ask yourself the following questions before you spew it all over someone’s day, week, month, or lifetime!

  • Do I think what I’m about to say will help the situation or make it worse?
    • If it’s making it worse, am I happy about that?
      • If I’m happy about it, what insecurities am I trying to mask by doing so?
  • Would I want someone saying hurtful things and/or gossiping about me? Remember, karma will find its way back to you one way or the other.
  • Do I have any business discussing someone else’s personal life with another person. The answer is almost always, “no!”
  • Do I have something better to do with my time and energy than stick my nose in other’s business and/or gossip about them? The answer is always, “yes!”

I remember gossiping in my middle/high school days. Looking back, I did so in part to stay alive (having the inside scoop meant that I must be somewhat important enough not to slaughter on the playground or in the locker bay). It was a sh*tty survival technique that I’m not proud of, and while I couldn’t change my past, I did change my future…and so can you!

Whether or not you think someone deserves kindness, isn’t the point, nor is it for you to decide. We are all one, and we all deserve love and a lifetime of happiness. The next time you find yourself wanting to say something hurtful to someone else or spread a little harmless gossip, I challenge you to say three nice things about that person instead, and then find something else to talk about. Please remember, you’re better than feeding your mind McDonald’s.

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