I received a message today asking about the prices of my monthly group coaching sessions. She asked why I charged a fee ($15, of which 15% goes to charity), because she needed to evaluate if it would beneficial for her to attend. Initially, I was taken back by her inquiry. Am I not worth $15? Actually, am I not worth $15 minus 15%? Doesn’t she realize how crazy cheap that is already – it’s group coaching – I’m practically giving it away! I’m a certified coach that’s been consulting for years. IT’S $15!!! These thoughts were simply the “old me” trying to fight its way back into the spotlight. Little did my old thoughts know, I had been training like a Jedi Master (OK, not quite, but I like to pretend) to combat mindset enemies such as this. And just like that – KAPOW! – I slayed that Imperial Stormtrooper in five seconds flat! Seriously, if you knew what I was like before you’d be beaming with pride!
Here are Yoda’s tips to start training your mind like a Master. OK, these aren’t copyrighted tips from the Star Wars empire, they’re just from me, in partial Yoda-speak. Enjoy!
- Accept your inner critic you must not. Just because your mind says it, doesn’t make it true.
- Truth about the situation do you know? Ask yourself if you’re really seeing a clear picture of what’s in front of you or if it’s muddied up with negative thoughts. In my example above, the two things I knew for certain were that I had value and she was simply asking for information, and there was no harm in either of those things. My brief mental freak out wasn’t her fault, it was all made up in my head.
- Be kind to others you must. Coming from a place of compassion and kindness when dealing with others makes all the difference in the world…and if it doesn’t, rest easier knowing that’s on them and not you.
- Appreciation to yourself you must give. Tell yourself something (or lots of somethings) that you love and appreciate about yourself.
- Goodbye to the Joneses you must say. Stop the comparison game. You are a unique and awesome being with talents that only you can share. Focus on what you bring to the table, not others.
- Hang out with better people you must. Who you surround yourself makes a huge difference in your outlook on yourself, others, and the world. Don’t cloud your vision by spending time with those that refuse to see the worth and beauty in others.
- Perfectionism to the curb you must kick. You are good enough, just as you are today…warts and all!
I’m sure the folks that overheard me trying to convert these sentences into Yoda-speak had a good laugh…and probably thought I was crazy!
I emailed the woman back with a kind and casual response and left it at that. If she decides not to attend, then she didn’t see the value, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Being able to stand firm, know my value, and not let my “old” thoughts run the show, was a definite victory.
There might come a day when I take a shot from a Battle Droid, but I’m confident that the daily work I’m doing to build a stronger mindset will make it less of a critical wound. If you struggle to realize your own self-worth, please know it’s very common – you’re not alone. I encourage to practice daily to discover the bright light hidden inside you. Doing so will make you happier, healthier, feel lighter, and will give you great stability in life. Start today, because you’re worth it!
“Do or do not, there is no try.” ~Yoda