It’s been a year and a half since I wrote with any consistency. A lot has happened since then: I lost my best friend/quasi-brother, I had a difficult pregnancy with an even worse postpartum recovery, I bought and moved into a house (during the height of summer and my pregnancy), I became a published author, two family members I adore were diagnosed with cancer, and another one of my best friends unexpectedly passed away. In my opinion, that’s a lot.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve wanted to write this entire time, but stopped myself. In large part, I felt what I wanted to write about, no one would want to read because it was heavier, darker, or whatever negative label one would attach to articles based on the time that passed. I felt as though if it wasn’t a happy and upbeat with an inspiring ending, readers wouldn’t like it. Eventually, I would realize that I was masking my authentic self and voice…a story I know all too well about myself. In reality, it was my overwhelming grief attempting to protect me from the slightest chance of any additional pain. Instead of rising above, I withdrew, and cut off a creative and emotional outlet that probably would’ve helped significantly during this time of incredible change, loss, and light.
This short blurb is my way of drawing a line in the sand. No more hiding. Come along with me on a journey of deeper self discovery — blood, sweat, tears, and all.